"Every day," writes io9, "poachers kill 96 elephants in Africa."
Let us hasten to the time when, every day, elephants also kill 96 of the poachers who come to murder them.
Before it's too late..... I mean, it's only fair, right, to also give the elephants powerful guns and fast trucks?
Can someone explain to me why that's not fair?
I'd love to see a few poachers with their jaws yanked far too open, with their dead, bloodshot eyes screaming out in death, while a few elephants yank the gold from the poacher's teeth....
Is that too much to ask for? Really?